Anne2Snakie

And it was all by accident. Kind of funny. My doctor wanted me to get on more, better meds. But my state insurance was balking on the orders, and my meds were running out, and some stop-gap meds were given to me. Sans instructions, and I wasn't going to just start taking potentially dangerous meds without knowing how much I should and should not be taking. So during this time, I had to stop seeing my shrink, and THOSE meds he prescribed me ran out before I could tell my main doc I needed him to take care of those meds.

So, in order to make sure I got more and better meds, I ended up getting no meds for a long time. Isn't it funny how things like that occur?

So Rudy is still in the nursing home, and one of the nurses who treated him is under state investigation for being a fucking cunt (you can't be a fucking cunt when you are a nurse, only the unfucking kind of cunt). Anyway, now that I have denigrated my own gender, I shall continue.

Maybe in a couple of months he can come home, but I am starting to think, slowly and gently, edging carefully toward the edges of it, that he isn't going to come home. And that he may be in the obits within a years time.

If you have never contemplated suicide before, or been in a deep dumps for a long time, you can't rilly understand what horrible, horrible pressure I have on me. It feels like the weight of the world is on my shoulders, and my shoulders can't carry it all. And I don't know how I can even take care of my kids because of my back. My in-laws are raising my children. I see them for about 12 hours spread over a 2 day period, repeat that cycle. The rest of the time I am with Rudy in town, or trying to recuperate from just trying to survive.

I play videogames when everyone is gone, or watch tv, or fuck around with my computer. In the dark. Then I finally fall asleep HOURS after I take my sleep meds (and it's a lot of sleep stuff mixed in with muscle relaxers). and I wake up in the next moening, about 5 hours later, so broken I have to hobble slowly and painfully with my cane to my pain meds so I can start my day.

Hello : )

Take care. You, all the people that read this blog, are all a line that helps keep me sane and alive. Thank you, and I love you all.

Anne

Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
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I hadn't realised how long it had been since I had done a real post. Let me fill you in on what has been happening in my and Rudy's life. Let's see. 1) It appears his lungs are now worse than suspected- a lot of the chest pain he is having may be due to the inner linings of his lungs seperating and he may require some surgery to fix that. 2) His blood thickness is all out of control and he frequently requires injections to thin his blood down. this has led to another problem, which I shall save for last. 3) He requires oxygen all the time now. 4) The injections caused infections under his skin which have now become huge abscesses, which the doctors did not know were abscesses for 2 weeks after the sore, red, hard, hot, large spots were discovered in his abdomen. He will require surgery to get those drained, and I just got in from the hospital tonite where he was taken AFTER I fought hard to get SOMEONE to pay attention to the fact that he was not getting better.

So how is my life? This is just maybe 10% of what has been happening in the past month. One of the reasons I have only been doing small stupid posts. Such is life.

Sigh.

Anne

Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )

I wrote a story today as a present for an online friend. I think I shall also post it on my site. And for all of you out there who are waiting for your special "I Got The Palindrome Right" stories, please bear with me. Taking longer than I thought, and I want to get them good : )

Anne


Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )

Late last night I added a bunch of my older stories to the site o' mine, as well as FINALLY adding Chapter 3 of my EPIC mini-novel. Coolio. I was on a roll last night. Burrito. I better go before I get eaten alive by a snake again.

Oops!

Anne

Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )