Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Depression And The Holidays. Happy Turkey Day
Dunno why I am so depressed lately, other than my underlying depression, the stress, the holidays, my injured back, Rudy's barely controlled symptoms after his heart surgery... And then of course we are in The Holiday Season. So there we go. No reason at all for depression!
Tonight it's very much worse, tho. Not sure why. It's happened like this before, however- things were mostly okay during the day, but suddenly things went mentally downhill as the afternoon went by. Strangely, and horribly, enough, I think it may actually be "dark related". The sun starts to go down and my mood goes with it. Which bugs me because I like darkness and the night. I am a mole, a vampire, a bat. I am nocturnal. And yet... my depression seems to get worse when the sun goes away.
Drat.
We are packing tonight to go to Rudy's sister's place for Thanksgiving. A good 200 mile drive. Down past Olympia, Washington, our state capital. No stopping anywhere, a straight drive, because we have to get there FAST. Rudy gets car sick when traveling, and his chest hurts worse in "car seat position" because a car seat ain't nothing like a real chair. Fact is, I am writing this offline, then going to "copy&paste" when I use my (shudder) AOL connection to go online.
I have been yelling at Robbie tonite for no real reason, other than my mood is below 'dark' and nearing 'suicidal'.
Not that y'all want to hear about my problems. Y'all all just want me to write more stories about women being eaten alive by various critters. Sorta like I advertise the blog for. And my site.
I hate myself.
But I love all you out there, I rilly rilly do! Give me a smile, c'mon, kissy kissy! Kissy kissy! There ya go! There ya go!
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
Tonight it's very much worse, tho. Not sure why. It's happened like this before, however- things were mostly okay during the day, but suddenly things went mentally downhill as the afternoon went by. Strangely, and horribly, enough, I think it may actually be "dark related". The sun starts to go down and my mood goes with it. Which bugs me because I like darkness and the night. I am a mole, a vampire, a bat. I am nocturnal. And yet... my depression seems to get worse when the sun goes away.
Drat.
We are packing tonight to go to Rudy's sister's place for Thanksgiving. A good 200 mile drive. Down past Olympia, Washington, our state capital. No stopping anywhere, a straight drive, because we have to get there FAST. Rudy gets car sick when traveling, and his chest hurts worse in "car seat position" because a car seat ain't nothing like a real chair. Fact is, I am writing this offline, then going to "copy&paste" when I use my (shudder) AOL connection to go online.
I have been yelling at Robbie tonite for no real reason, other than my mood is below 'dark' and nearing 'suicidal'.
Not that y'all want to hear about my problems. Y'all all just want me to write more stories about women being eaten alive by various critters. Sorta like I advertise the blog for. And my site.
I hate myself.
But I love all you out there, I rilly rilly do! Give me a smile, c'mon, kissy kissy! Kissy kissy! There ya go! There ya go!
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
Sunday, November 21, 2004
Jah Hay Zuss
It's been a coon's age since I done posted here on this heyarr blog, innit? Actually, I tried to about a week ago, but the net was congested and my fucking DIAL-UP was so slow it was insane... the post never made it through! And so I was completely dismayed, and haven't tried again until today.
What has happened? Well, since I posted on the fifth that I was going to be going into counseling, I haven't had a SINGLE SESSION. My counselor did my intake, then went on vacation until after Thanksgiving. Fucking whore. So no counseling yet.
I did have a near crisis point about a week ago too, no less. I was driving Rudy home from town and nearly broke down from stress, depression, and self-loathing.
Because you see I have underlying depression, and I am SO tired of being depressed, and under the stress of my back injury and Rudy's ongoing health problems, I am dying.
Inside.
On the other hand, I am writing a soon-to-be-vore story based on the old 1989 nintendo RPG 'Dragon Warrior', so life can't be ALL bad : )
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
What has happened? Well, since I posted on the fifth that I was going to be going into counseling, I haven't had a SINGLE SESSION. My counselor did my intake, then went on vacation until after Thanksgiving. Fucking whore. So no counseling yet.
I did have a near crisis point about a week ago too, no less. I was driving Rudy home from town and nearly broke down from stress, depression, and self-loathing.
Because you see I have underlying depression, and I am SO tired of being depressed, and under the stress of my back injury and Rudy's ongoing health problems, I am dying.
Inside.
On the other hand, I am writing a soon-to-be-vore story based on the old 1989 nintendo RPG 'Dragon Warrior', so life can't be ALL bad : )
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
Saturday, November 06, 2004
The Pack-Rat Broke Down
and actually... TRADED IN some video games for other video games. I went through my old PS1 games and pulled out what I never play any more, or what I always hated anyway and why in fuck's name did I buy this anyway? Then I consulted with Robby (my 8 year old step-son) and we determined which PS2 games we could get rid of. Then I took the HUGE sack down to town (22 mile drive!) and the GameStop there.
Got me 4 PS2 games. 1 I sorta wish I hadn't- 'Resident Evil Code:Veronica'. I had forgotten the fucking annoying save game system for that game. In the game, there are X number of typewriter ribbons that you have to FIND. Then you have to locate a typewriter. Then it USES UP that ribbon to save the game. I HATE that. I also got '(something something) Alon Dor', and it seems coolish. An RPG, as RPGish as most console RPG's get. I also got 'RUNE Viking Warrior' and it's... okay. It has load times SO long, that when the loading screen starts and the little status bar begins crawling it's progress, I have the time to suck my husband off AND make a sandwich AND still make it back before the load time is done. No, I haven't actually tried all that yet ^_^ I also got 'Prince Of Persia - Sands Of Time'.
That game is fucking AWESOME. Oh my GOD. Video games are now officially ART.
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
Got me 4 PS2 games. 1 I sorta wish I hadn't- 'Resident Evil Code:Veronica'. I had forgotten the fucking annoying save game system for that game. In the game, there are X number of typewriter ribbons that you have to FIND. Then you have to locate a typewriter. Then it USES UP that ribbon to save the game. I HATE that. I also got '(something something) Alon Dor', and it seems coolish. An RPG, as RPGish as most console RPG's get. I also got 'RUNE Viking Warrior' and it's... okay. It has load times SO long, that when the loading screen starts and the little status bar begins crawling it's progress, I have the time to suck my husband off AND make a sandwich AND still make it back before the load time is done. No, I haven't actually tried all that yet ^_^ I also got 'Prince Of Persia - Sands Of Time'.
That game is fucking AWESOME. Oh my GOD. Video games are now officially ART.
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
I Am A Self-Admitted Flake
when it comes to answering email and such. If you have emailed me and I don't email you back within what you would consider a "normal persons" email answering delay, chances are I just haven't gotten to it yet... or I forgot about it entirely... or some other horrible reason, considering what is happening in our lives lately.
On the other hand, please email me! I love getting email o_o
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
On the other hand, please email me! I love getting email o_o
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
Friday, November 05, 2004
I Am Going To Counseling Now
Money stress, the stress of my back injury, the stress of Rudy's CONTINUING health issues, the stress of taking care of my kids as best I can and mostly not being able too... I finally had to find a place in town where I could find an impartial third-party where I could talk because I HAVE BEEN GOING FUCKING INSANE. Literally. No joke. I've been DYING inside. Suicidal ideation. And don't EVEN say "Well, think of the kids- what sort of life would they have?" THAT has been adding stress on top of stress. I've been stretched tighter than a drum and there has been NO FURTHER I CAN STRETCH. So badly that I've been typing in all caps! ^_^
I have been trying to write, but NOTHING is coming out right. It all sucks. And we paid our lawyer today, so he is now actually OUR lawyer- it's official. Bankruptcy, Here We Are.
Not everything is terrible tho. Just mostly. It just FEELS horrible.
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
I have been trying to write, but NOTHING is coming out right. It all sucks. And we paid our lawyer today, so he is now actually OUR lawyer- it's official. Bankruptcy, Here We Are.
Not everything is terrible tho. Just mostly. It just FEELS horrible.
Anne
Anne2Snakie's Snake Swallowings Site
The Girl Flesh Forum
My Hopefully Spam Proof Email Address:
anne2snakie AT yahoo DOT com
I think you can figure out how to type that into the TO: line : )
